Well this is definitely a subject that hits many different chords with me and my life. For me the determination it takes for me to hold my tongue sometimes is amazing, and for my friends who will read this and laugh, yes I do hold my tongue. Can you imagine the things I’d say otherwise? We all have the points at which we will get before all hell breaks loose right? We all spend I’d venture to say more than half our life, determined to eat better, be better parents and just in general be better people. Determination for the most part, isn’t the difficult part for me, for me it is the follow through. I always have the best intentions to be nicer but then someone I know opens up their mouth and that determination to be better is pretty much shot to hell. Seriously though I like to think none of us that were so lucky to be placed on this earth, ever really set out to intentionally hurt anyone, but sometimes I do believe we could all save a great heap of aggravation by taking a moment to put ourselves in each others shoes.
That is where determination really plays the biggest part, it is where the men get separated from the boys. Think back to the last time you got the cold shoulder from a co-worker or a friend, are you able to recall your part in the drama? I was brought up being told that we all have a part in every thing that happens to us, even the really bad stuff, obviously we don’t intentionally set out to hurt ourselves, but none the less, we do play a part. But back to that friend who just snubbed you, there is a chance that he/she is feeling snubbed themselves and retaliation seems to be a very common weapon. Personally I think I am a good person, and for the most part I see myself as a good friend. But even though I’d never plan to hurt anyone in my life, I certainly know it has happened. Typically I am the very first one to admit when this has happened and it never really takes me that long to try and apologize and make amends.
I have noticed though that this is not a common practice among people I’ve known in the last few years. I think back to my childhood friends and then even high school friends and for those relationships, forgiveness and acceptance of each others faults seems more flexible. The determination I feel is needed to make my newer friendships last is somewhat absent in the longer relationships. I am at an age<God just typing that makes me feel old>where I just don’t necessarily want to waste any extra energy, I am starting to feel the ” I am set in my ways” portion of my life begin to shape up, I have not yet gotten to the bitter and jaded stage but I do wonder is that really so far off? My question to you the readers is this, “The determination you felt to makes things work in your life ten years ago, is it as strong now?”